Trust is imperative in any relationship. Once it is broken it is almost impossible to regain. And when you have had your heart shattered into tiny pieces, and then stamped on, you think you will NEVER EVER trust ANYONE again.
Here is some more fantastic advice from the Love Healing Guru..(as I like to call her). Her advice is helping me and I believe it can help others too!
“Going cold turkey, as painful as it was, was the best route.
BEcause I learned something.
Your heart can be broken.
And you can grow a new one.
I’ve known my now husband for years. When he began to get serious, I told him, beware, I have more baggage than a Samsonite factory.
I said, “Give me a year” so that I could sort things out in my head, to make sure he wasn’t a player TOO (because it’s all too easy to fall for the same type of guy who played you in the first place), and to make sure that I wasn’t going to burden him with all my issues.
I learned to trust again, because you must. You can’t go through the rest of your life sizing up people and thinking, he looks like a cheater, he looks like a nice guy. That’s what got me in trouble with the Player to begin with. I saw this tall, seemingly nice, handsome guy and my hormones said This is the one. My brain said, whoa, wait a minute, but did I listen? Nooooooooooooo.
You have to learn to trust again. You can’t lay all your baggage on a new man and expect him to just accept you and you not accept him. That horrible feeling of betrayal is not the New Man’s fault.
Remember that Billy Joel song, “Innocent Man”? While I don’t care so much for Billy Joel, he does have a point in that song.
You have to say, “Yeah, that guy so totally used me, it was totally effed up, it hurt like hell, it was horrible”…and then let it go. It’s not easily done, but it must be.
Don’t be afraid to love again, but go in with no false or overinflated expectations. He is who he is. You can’t change someone, only yourself.”
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